WTF Registry
Oh, this was too good not to share! I'm shamelessly borrowing from the Fugly blog.
"Our books include the Sub-Main Book (also known as the WTF Did I Breed Book)"
"ALL horses must have four legs to enter any of the books. All four legs do NOT have to be functioning at the time. "
"But plain ol' chestnuts lose 10 points right off the bat - sorry, there was a color poll, and chestnuts lost the race."
Just make sure it's a purty kolor now. Conformation--what's that? WTF?! ROFL!!!
Showing posts with label Humor. Show all posts
Showing posts with label Humor. Show all posts
Sunday, July 19, 2009
Wednesday, July 15, 2009
Horse-isms
While I go about my evening, working horses and doing my chores, I find myself thinking of things that only my fellow horsepeople would understand:
You know you're a horse person if you ask "Ewww...who pooped in the water?" and you're not at the lake on Memorial Day weekend.
You know you're a horse person if you hear, "Well, I got on her today," and it doesn't turn into a deeply personal discovery about one of your female friends.
You know you're a horse person if you can go into the grocery store, buy Listerine, Vaseline, AD&D ointment, baby oil, glycerine, and 15-200 watt lightbulbs and not understand why the checkout guy gives you a weird look.
You know you're a horse person if you look at real estate online, they give you 15 pictures of the house and gardens and you're pissed because they don't show the barn (the only thing you really want to see).
You know you're a horse person if you'll drive 200 miles for the best alfalfa in the state, but the only thing in your cupboards is ramen noodles and Campbell's tomato soup.
You know you're a horse person if you can name the month and year every horse you own was born, but you can't remember your age.
You know you're a horse person if you ask "Ewww...who pooped in the water?" and you're not at the lake on Memorial Day weekend.
You know you're a horse person if you hear, "Well, I got on her today," and it doesn't turn into a deeply personal discovery about one of your female friends.
You know you're a horse person if you can go into the grocery store, buy Listerine, Vaseline, AD&D ointment, baby oil, glycerine, and 15-200 watt lightbulbs and not understand why the checkout guy gives you a weird look.
You know you're a horse person if you look at real estate online, they give you 15 pictures of the house and gardens and you're pissed because they don't show the barn (the only thing you really want to see).
You know you're a horse person if you'll drive 200 miles for the best alfalfa in the state, but the only thing in your cupboards is ramen noodles and Campbell's tomato soup.
You know you're a horse person if you can name the month and year every horse you own was born, but you can't remember your age.
Silly Eddie.....
Oops, time to go out and finish up. Be sure to comment if you can think of anymore!
Wednesday, July 1, 2009
Llama Llama Cheesecake Llama; Llama Llama Duck
Can anyone tell me, what is the purpose of this?
I mean, do you ride them? Eat them?
Opps, Sorry!
Well, something the previous night had spooked all my weanlings through their fence, and that morning I found the culprit. Someone had told my babies that llamas eat horses and that they always go after the young ones first.
The llama wasn't interested in eating any of the horses but did take great joy in scaring the begeezuz out of them. It would hide behind a tree, poke its llama head out and say "boo." OK, I'm kidding about the "boo," but dead serious about the rest...
Yeah, that's right. Llama-cutting in the old Chevy 2500.
Another interesting fact about llamas is they have unbelievable stamina.
I mean, do you ride them? Eat them?
Opps, Sorry!
Do they provide companionship?
Or maybe just humor?
Or maybe just humor?
I don't mean to offend anyone, but I loathe llamas. I mean, this is one animal I absolutely could not stand to have on my farm. I don't get them. I see the neighbors herding them around their pasture--a really nice horse pasture--that is being completely wasted on llamas (llamas they can't even get within 10 feet of apparently).
Maybe it's my experience with llamas that leaves a bad, llama-y taste in my mouth.
Maybe it's my experience with llamas that leaves a bad, llama-y taste in my mouth.
When I lived out in central Kansas, we had a llama show up in our yard one day. Apparently llamas are dropped off like stray dogs out in the country. I was not aware of this. If I had been, I would have llama-proofed the place, placed llama traps and put up no llama-passing signs.
I called the sheriff, but they told me if no one came by to pick it up it was mine. Hello! I don't WANT it. Evidently it was an unwanted llama. Could they come by and shoot it? They just laughed at me.
Well, something the previous night had spooked all my weanlings through their fence, and that morning I found the culprit. Someone had told my babies that llamas eat horses and that they always go after the young ones first.
The llama wasn't interested in eating any of the horses but did take great joy in scaring the begeezuz out of them. It would hide behind a tree, poke its llama head out and say "boo." OK, I'm kidding about the "boo," but dead serious about the rest...
...including my stint as a llama wrangler. Yes, I tried to capture the darned thing. It was elusive, though. And stupid. Good Godfrey Daniels, it was stupid.
After 3 hours of attempted llama wrangling (including moving my entire roundpen out into a field for a make-shift catch pen), I got in my truck and attempted to drive it back to whereever whenst it came. I figured ultimately if I couldn't capture it, I would herd it off with my truck (either that, or "accidentally" run over it).
Did you know llamas are fast? They can also turn on a dime. Maybe there needs to be llama reining? Either that or this Llama was an illegitimate son of Hollywood Dun It. I didn't know they were so talented on their feet until I started chasing it through a corn field with a 3/4 ton truck.
After 3 hours of attempted llama wrangling (including moving my entire roundpen out into a field for a make-shift catch pen), I got in my truck and attempted to drive it back to whereever whenst it came. I figured ultimately if I couldn't capture it, I would herd it off with my truck (either that, or "accidentally" run over it).
Did you know llamas are fast? They can also turn on a dime. Maybe there needs to be llama reining? Either that or this Llama was an illegitimate son of Hollywood Dun It. I didn't know they were so talented on their feet until I started chasing it through a corn field with a 3/4 ton truck.
Yeah, that's right. Llama-cutting in the old Chevy 2500.
Another interesting fact about llamas is they have unbelievable stamina.
I think I went through half a tank before we got it to the end of the field. For some reason, it loved my place. It loved making yummy noises to my babies. It loved playing peek-a-boo with my broodies. It loved aggravating the hell out of me. Wait, brother....is that you????
It finally ran off into the sunset, never to be seen again.
Wednesday, May 13, 2009
My Favorite Blogs
I thought since I didn't have much to write about tonight (unless you're dying to hear about my fantastic grocery store trip, searching for an hour for foods that are both healthy and easy on my wallet, including the half hour I spent searching for whole wheat pita bread LOL), I would mention some of my personal favorite blogs. If you have any favorites of your own, please feel free to share in the comments!
I don't care who ya are, that's funny right there....
WARNING: You will definitely get addicted! Amazing photography, great writing, fun contests and great recipes! Try the Ginger Steak Salad --YUMMY!!
These people do rescue RIGHT! Check out Phoenix, their latest rescue. I didn't know a horse could be that thin and still alive :(
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)
