Fulfillment

First of all, I want to apologize for some of my previous posts being uncharacteristically deep and thoughtful. I'm going to blame all this reflection on my odd schedule.  Being up all night and sleeping all day leaves entirely too much to the imagination, I'm afraid.  Once in a while I do wake up in time to get outside on a beautiful day and get a good dosing of vitamin D.

On the other hand, I can't really help but be at least a little reflective.  After all, I honestly can't remember when I've been happier about the course of my life.  My path is clear.

Through all the shadows of my past, the light is starting to shine through.

For the first time since I was in my early twenties, I feel like I'm growing...in all the good ways!

I used to ride along in life, like a passenger on a train, content to allow it to take me where ever it went.  The only plans I made were just in case the train derailed.   I was too scared to choose my own destination.

However, the train didn't just derail.  It disappeared altogether, and when I looked down the tracks I saw an option that had never occurred to me--I could simply step off the tracks and head in whatever direction I wanted.

It's a little harder walking on my own, than it was riding along in the train, but now I can actually see where I'm going.  The going is slow, but steady, and I'm learning things along the way that I never even knew were possible.

I'm learning a lot more about myself along the way.  I'm learning to develop my strengths and be aware of my weaknesses.  I'm learning how to balance what I love in life with what I must do in life.  The result is a sense of joyous accomplishment that fuels me along this long road I'm traveling.  I feel as though this old plant is blooming once again.

"I will be the gladdest thing

Under the sun!

I will touch a hundred flowers

And not pick one."

~Edna St. Vincent Millay

~J