Fulfillment

First of all, I want to apologize for some of my previous posts being uncharacteristically deep and thoughtful. I'm going to blame all this reflection on my odd schedule.  Being up all night and sleeping all day leaves entirely too much to the imagination, I'm afraid.  Once in a while I do wake up in time to get outside on a beautiful day and get a good dosing of vitamin D.

On the other hand, I can't really help but be at least a little reflective.  After all, I honestly can't remember when I've been happier about the course of my life.  My path is clear.

Through all the shadows of my past, the light is starting to shine through.

For the first time since I was in my early twenties, I feel like I'm growing...in all the good ways!

I used to ride along in life, like a passenger on a train, content to allow it to take me where ever it went.  The only plans I made were just in case the train derailed.   I was too scared to choose my own destination.

However, the train didn't just derail.  It disappeared altogether, and when I looked down the tracks I saw an option that had never occurred to me--I could simply step off the tracks and head in whatever direction I wanted.

It's a little harder walking on my own, than it was riding along in the train, but now I can actually see where I'm going.  The going is slow, but steady, and I'm learning things along the way that I never even knew were possible.

I'm learning a lot more about myself along the way.  I'm learning to develop my strengths and be aware of my weaknesses.  I'm learning how to balance what I love in life with what I must do in life.  The result is a sense of joyous accomplishment that fuels me along this long road I'm traveling.  I feel as though this old plant is blooming once again.

"I will be the gladdest thing

Under the sun!

I will touch a hundred flowers

And not pick one."

~Edna St. Vincent Millay

~J

Do it Anyway

The Paradoxical Commandments

by Dr. Kent M. Keith

1.  People are illogical, unreasonable, and self-centered.  

Love them anyway.

2.  If you do good, people will accuse you of selfish ulterior motives.  

Do good anyway.

3.  If you are successful, you win false friends and true enemies.

Succeed anyway.

4.  The good you do today will be forgotten tomorrow.

Do good anyway.

5.  Honesty and frankness make you vulnerable.

Be honest and frank anyway.

6.  The biggest men and women with the biggest ideas can be shot down by the smallest men and women with the smallest minds.

Think big anyway.

7.  People favor underdogs but follow only top dogs.

Fight for a few underdogs anyway.

8.  What you spend years building may be destroyed overnight.

Build anyway.

9.  People really need help but may attack you if you do help them.

Help people anyway.

10.  Give the world the best you have and you'll get kicked in the teeth.

Give the world the best you have anyway.

Plans

One of the most difficult, exciting, and potentially overwhelming parts of renovating an entire homestead is that even though you know that the completion of it will take years, you have to at least have some idea of how everything is going to fit together before you can really dig in.

We've already dug in, but the planning continues.  It is a lot of fun to have the different elements come together in my mind, but at the same time, it's a little nerve-racking.  What if I forget something?  What if I incorrectly estimate how well two things will look together? What if I lose my mind first?  What if it's already gone? 

The work on the outside of the house will begin soon.  I've got a plan A (what I really want) and a plan B (in case plan A is entirely too cost-prohibitive).  Plan A is to brick the front and install Hardie siding (concrete-derived siding) on the rest of the house.  While I was against this look at first, thinking it wouldn't go together, I've found several houses that look great this way:

Of course, the house will still have the 2-story porch.  I can't find an exact example but this is fairly close--just imagine a porch upstairs, too!

I think the red brick will really complete the Georgian look, be in keeping with the "old" look to the house and yet update it and make it stand out, not to mention also making it more resilient to the weather (the front of the house faces west).

The plan is to start on the north side of the house with siding late this summer, install all the windows and then move inside and get the new bathroom and laundry room (on that side of the house, lower level) finished this winter.  Next summer hopefully the front of the house can be done--windows, brick, new porch and new front door.  That's the plan--but you know how plans go.  I'm hesitantly excited.  Regardless of when it is finished, it will hopefully look very nice.

Another item I have been planning has been my barn.  The actual construction of my horse barn is years off into the future, but it has to be planned nonetheless.  The old barn has to be destroyed, unfortunately (it is too far gone to save) and then my dad wants to put in a large shed/garage.  This means I need to decide on how big of a barn I want and where I want it, so we can fit all the buildings in the correct place.

After some research and planning, it looks like I'll end up with a 36x48 barn, something like the one below:

I don't need anything huge--it's just me, after all.   I don't want 20 stalls to clean!  Three stalls is plenty, plus hay storage, a tack room, a grooming stall and office.  One day, probably when I'm too old to ride, I'll be able to afford to add an indoor working area on the back of it.  That's the plan, anyway....

"Let our advance worrying become advance thinking and planning."
William Churchill

~J

Goodbye, Milton

A couple of days I unexpectedly lost Milton to unknown causes.

As the shock has slowly worn off, the wonderful memories I had the opportunity to make with him over the past two years have come to the surface, and I am so thankful to have gotten to have this wonderful cat, even if it was for too short of a time.

He was such a wonderful companion to Harley in his final years.

He was close to the dogs...sometimes a bit too close! 

I couldn't have asked for a better companion for the other animals and me.  

We all miss Milton so much.  I wish so badly I had gotten more time with him.  The house seems so empty without my two beloved boys, but somehow I know they are together now in spirit--two souls that just couldn't be apart for long.

Missing my Milton,
~J

Happy

I started this post with that one word--"Happy"--because it pretty much sums up exactly how I feel when I'm out with my horses.

Although I worked all night last night, I needed to get outside this afternoon and get my horse-fix.  I trimmed Fabian's feet and groomed him.  He was such a good boy.

I love his deep copper coloring.  It reminds me so much of his daddy.

Hopefully over the next couple of days I can get to Bambi and Paula as well.  They look slightly disheveled but are still beautiful to me.

It seems they always know when I have a camera.  They start running around, showing off for the camera.  Here I managed to get a picture of all three of them taking off on the same lead.  

One shot I'm dying to get is of them all lined up together, ears forward, in the same pose.  

Eh, almost, but not quite.  The light should be in front, not behind them.

Paula's hiding in the shade here and Bambi's head is down.  Swine kids never cooperate....

They can't even run around spaced out properly.  They aren't really the most willing models...

...but I sure love them anyway.  What can I say, they make me happy!

Glutton for punishment,

~J

Sophie in the Wheat

Yesterday my sister came down from Kansas City.  She's a city girl, but she does need to get a dose of the "old country" from time to time, so I drove her around out in the boonies.  I showed her some of Dad's land--told her about some of the family history and then we went and visited some of the places our ancestors are buried.

Sophie came with us, of course.  After all, "Aunt Toes" is her favorite person in the whole wide world.

Outside one of the cemeteries the wheat had not yet been cut and Sophie took off into it, hunting Lord knows what.  She'd pop her head up every so often...

...or she'd go into "Stealth Sophie" mode.

She seems destined to be a Kansas dog, doesn't she?

My sister and I laughed so hard at her antics, she had us both in stitches.  That "boinging," those ears, that faux hunt....

I took a this poor little video to capture what still pictures couldn't.

It's the simple little joys in life,
~J