Wednesday, October 12, 2011


I got arrested.

Let me start at the beginning.  Since I spend a lot of time in my car, driving the hour back and forth to the "city" where I go to school and work, I have to be sure to try to keep my car as clean as possible or it would get out of hand very quickly.  I often stop at gas stations even if I don't need anything, just to throw out the trash from in my car (empty cups, fast-food wrappers, etc).  I never had any problems with doing this before, up until today, anyway.

I pulled up to the gas station pump, gathered up the trash from my car--a couple of empty cups and an empty Wendy's paper sack--threw it into the trash receptacle and drove away.  A few minutes later I heard sirens behind me and saw a flash of lights in my rearview mirror.  I wasn't speeding, so at first I didn't even think they were pulling me over.  However, as I pulled my car over to the right and saw the police car doing the same, I began to worry.

What in the world could I have gotten pulled over for?  I was obeying all traffic laws.  My tags are up-to-date.  I had my seatbelt on, like I always do.  I just couldn't figure it out....

I went ahead and dug out my license and my registration, but as the cop approached the car he asked me to step out.  What the heck?  I was confused but I did as I was told.  No sooner had I done so than he began asking me about where I had just come from and where I was going.  I told him I was just on my way to class.  Then he asked me about the gas station.  I told him I had only stopped in to throw a couple of things away in the trash can.  

Then he said something that really had me confused.  He asked me, "Why did you leave without paying?"  I was absolutely lost at this point.  I told him, "I didn't know I had to pay to use their trash can."  The next thing I knew I was wearing a pair of handcuffs and sitting in the back of a police car.

When I went in front of the judge I was asked again why I hadn't paid.   At this point I was so flabbergasted that all sense of tact had left me.  I exclaimed, "pay for what?!"  

"For the gas."  the judge retorted.

"I didn't get gas.  I only threw a few things away, " I explained.

Then the judge asked, "Well, can you prove that?"  

"Um...can you prove I got gas and didn't pay?"  I was completely and absolutely at a loss as to what was going on.  Why in the world would I be arrested just for not paying for gas.  I worked at a gas station many years ago and had drive-offs quite often, and no one was ever arrested.  What was going on here?!

The judge explained, "You have the burden of proof here.  Now, why did you assault an officer of the law?"

At this point I was at a complete loss.  I had no memory of assaulting anyone.  In fact, I have never even so much as hit anyone in my entire life.  I didn't understand why a judge was asking me these questions, why I had no attorney, why things had gotten so out of hand so quickly.  I needed to talk to someone I trusted.  I needed to get someone to understand.  I was innocent!  This was all so utterly ridiculous!!

Then my alarm went off.

Trouble is my middle name,


Nicole said...

dang, you had me going =P

50+ Horses said...

Noooooooooooooooooooooooooooo!!! You've left me hanging by my little fingernail!!!!!!!!

Annette said...

Hmmm... subconsciously feeling guilty about throwing stuff away at the gas station? You crack me up.

smazourek said...

Dang it, Jessie! You really had me going there!

Mare said...

Oh man, you're hilarious! I seriously thought you had gotten arrested!

Alan T Hainkel said...

I'm glad I'm not the only one that thought you'd actually been fitted with those nickle-plated bracelets... Very well written, kiddo... :D