Dad called me earlier today, after my interview, to ask me if I could come pick him up at the truck repair shop. He needed a ride back out to the workshop and after that, he said he'd buy dinner.
I didn't argue because like most people, I like dinner.
We went to the local bar and grill, which I haven't been to in nearly six months. I decided on a hot summer day like today a single, solitary, margarita on the rocks was in order. So I ordered.
Well, I never, ever, never, ever, never, ever drink. And you'd think because I ate something along with the one margarita ('twas just one margarita after all) that I'd feel perfectly normal, or at least as close to normal as I can get.
My friends, I am here to tell you, I do not feel normal. I feel more like Abby somebody...Abby Normal. I would like to curl up in a little ball and fall asleep on the floor, please and thank you drive thru.
Because I can't curl up in a ball and go to sleep on the floor, because I would wake up to find three dogs and two cats piled on top of my face wondering what in the tarnation their human and sole caregiver is doing laying on the floor in the fetal position instead of feeding them, playing with them, and letting them out, I thought gee...what better time to blog than when I am in an unusually un-sober state?
Here are just ten things I've thought about tonight (run and hide before it's too late):
1. Oh hell, I forgot what the first one was....
2. I lost count while feeding my horses. I have four horses.
3. Interviewing for a job is a lot like going on a first date. You have no idea how they feel about you and the only thing you can do, whether you are interested or not, is to see if you ever hear from them again. If you do, then you have to decide if it's something you want to pursue. If not, you loathe yourself for the appropriate time period and move on. Joy.
4. I have a turkey that can't get right.
5. Oh! I remember what the first one was! Wait.... OK, I almost had it.
6. What if I'm looking for a bathroom, I can't find one, and my bladder explodes?
7. If I had a theme song that would play anytime I entered a room it would be Merry Happy, because "Dancing at discos, eating cheese on toast" sung with a British accent is the coolest song line ever. Ev-Er!
8. I took the dogs on a walk through the park today and Sophie heisted her leg every chance she got...SHE got. She. Heist. Leg. Dear Lord, why can't I ever have anything normal?
9. Interviewing for a job is a lot like calling tech support. You have no idea how they feel about you and the only thing you can do, whether you are interested or not, is to see if you ever hear from them again. If you do, then you have to decide if it's something you want to pursue. If not, you loathe yourself for the appropriate time period and move on. Joy.
10. I still can't remember what the first one was. Ah, forget it.
Over and Definitely Out,