Wednesday, September 29, 2010

Not Doing, Am Doing, Gonna Do

Don't worry. I'm still here.

No, I don't mean I'm still at the doctor's office. I'm just still around, in Bloggerland, in general.

I was at the doctor's office last week, though, because I have the same crud everyone else is getting. I thought maybe I could get over it faster with help, but nope. I haven't.

Other than just not wanting to be sick, there was a very important reason I could NOT be sick. I didn't have time. My 5K is only 10 days away.

I was barely on schedule with my training as it was, and now, with gunk in my lungs, I find it difficult to get through the day, let alone run several miles a week. I'm weak. I'm tired. I sound like a man, baby and Nyquil is my new best friend.

So it is with great disappointment that I announce I am a failure. A flop. A quitter. A sloth.

I don't see how I can get enough stamina built up to run 3.1 miles in ten days. I was able to do a little over 2 miles a week and a half ago and I haven't been able to run since.

This doesn't mean I give up on running. No sir. I will start back up again, once I can breathe again. I just can't do the race. It's sad and no one is more disappointed than I am, but if that's the worst thing that will happen to me this fall I'll be truly blessed.

And you all know I've been through much worse, right?

Also, I had to push starting school again until next semester. Apparently our local community college believes that if you already have one degree, there's no reason for you to try for another. I had to prove extreme hardship to be able to pursue a second degree, and while I've had plenty of hardships, I don't believe any of them have to do with my BA in English. So...I'll try my old alma mater in January. I should have started there in the first place, but I was trying to be practical and go with my closest option.

OK, so onto the things that I have done, rather than what I'm not going to do.

I've been working with Fabian on the days that I feel up to it. He's a completely different horse now (in a good way). He's gained a lot of weight, is thriving, seems to be feeling a lot better (as demonstrated in the previous post) and he's really turned into a pocket pony.

This is a horse that, when he first got here, it took me an hour to catch. Now I walk out with the halter in hand and he tries to put his nose in it before I can even get my arm over his neck.

As I mentioned in a previous post, our first roundpen session was pretty hairy, but Fabian is a super-smart boy and he's already progressing very well. He's learned to listen rather than panic and he's gaining flexibility and is becoming more aware of my cues and what they mean. He's finding out that the roundpen is not a place of panic, but of learning. I'm so proud of him and everyday that I work him, I really look forward to our lesson.

Moose also got a few lessons: tying and hoof trimming. I've been so behind in teaching Moose these things. But as they say, better late than never!

And let me tell you something: this boy has some BIG feet! Thankfully, since it seems that he's going to be a very big boy! At five months old he's 13H. Fabian isn't quite 14H, so Moose will without a doubt pass him in the next few months.

It will be kind of funny, riding my 13.3H 2 year old this winter, and just starting to lunge line my 14H+ weanling!

With the change in seasons I'm also thinking about things that I'm going to do. I WANT to get the house done.

Ain't gonna happen, though. Realistically speaking, I hope to get the second floor gutting finished. You have no idea how long it takes to remove plaster and lathe unless you've done it before. It takes a very long time to remove, and then taking it downstairs by the bucketful (because it's so heavy) makes it take even longer.

If I can get that done, then the second floor will be ready for wiring, plumbing and insulation in the spring. My goal is to be able to have the second floor mostly completed (except for decorating) by next winter.

Then perhaps in two years I can have a kitchen again. Oh cooking, I miss you so. Oh, home-cooked meals, I dream of you at times. Please come back to me, pasta. Dear skillet dishes, I'll mend my foolish ways.

You never know how much you miss something until it's gone,


Sydney_bitless said...

Don't strain yourself. Theres always time of runnin in the future rather than risk hurting yourself.

CCC said...

Flop quitter sloth, none of those words apply to you. Being sick is something totaly different. I can't even imagine getting up the nerve to try for a 5K run.

Jessie McCandless said...

Thanks so much to you both. I feel terrible about not following through with a goal, but there's always the spring, right? :)