FAQ

I get asked a lot of the same questions a lot, so I figured, because I'm so bored inspired, I thought I'd do a little FAQ about me. And if you don't want to know anything about me, then just hit that little red "x" in the upper right hand corner and all will be right with the world.


1. Why don't you have any pictures of you on your blog?

I would like to think, in some very small and insignificant way, that my blog is a teeny tiny positive contribution towards the betterment of society. Adding a picture of me to it is a complete contradition of that goal.


2. You seem to fit 36 hours into a 24 hour day. How do you do it?

Calgon, vicodin, the blood of a young virgin, primrose, and camomile tea.

I'm kidding! I'm just being silly. I don't even know what primrose is!


3. Did you take your meds today?

Define "today."


4. Why did you start this blog?

To become wildly famous, make millions of dollars, buy all the banks in the world and throw all the money in the streets so everyone will love me.


5. Are you seeing a therapist? We hope?

That's classified information, between me and my therapist(s).

Doh!


6. Why in the world do you have so many animals?

I ask myself that same question every day. Then I remember that they actually are my therapists.


7. Are you drunk?

Define "you."


8. Why don't you have any kids?

It's on my to-do list, along with with skydiving with a parachute made out of swiss cheese.


9. Why did you quit law school? Didn't you want to be rich and successful?

I decided I'd rather be cents-less than soulless. Wait....


10. Why do you have to "put in your two cents," but it's only a "penny for your thoughts?" Where's that extra penny going to?

Don't most people think their own words are worth a lot more than your thoughts?


Well, I hope that clears up a few things about me. Now, aren't you glad you asked?