Monday, January 24, 2011

10 Things About Me in KC

1. Last week I was in Kansas City. I didn't get the schedule until well after I got there, so I couldn't plan out any visits after work was done. It was unfortunate because I wanted to see several of my friends and my chiropractor, too.

I know mentioning my chiropractor is completely random, but it's how I roll. Little known fact: spinal alignment is crucial to proper rolling.

2. Instead, I saw the gym. I did need to see the gym, but I would have rather seen my friends and a pomegranate martini.

3. At the gym, I found to my surprise that after months of not running, I'm still able to run more than a mile without my lungs imploding. That was good to know. It will come in handy in case I ever encounter a Tyrannosaurus Rex.

4. Every business meeting that I attend in Kansas City results in a blizzard. Yet, ironically, every business meeting that I attend in Kansas City does not result in barbeque. Therefore, we can deduct, that blizzards do not result in barbeque.

5. I reasoned that since I had been to the gym and I was snowed in for my last night at the meeting, that I would ring up room service and order the dessert that I had missed all year long--the fried cheesecake with raspberry drizzle. They told me that the fried cheesecake had been discontinued. I cried "You're all bastard people!" hung up, and bit my pillow. Then I called again and ordered a salad using a different voice.

I think the universe is trying to tell me that my butt is too big.

6. I did finally get my fill of sushi, though, at Nara in downtown KC. It. Was. Heaven. If I ever have kids, I might have to name them Ginger and Wasabi.

I guess it's a good thing I will probably never have kids.

7. Despite all this talk of food, eating of food, disappointment surrounding food, and generalized blogging about food, I did manage to still lose 2 more pounds this week. That makes me the shizzzz....

8. I'm going to geek out on you all right now and admit I have no idea what "the shizz" even means. I heard it used once and I hope I used it correctly. I assume it means "a person viewed in the most favorable light." But, it could have just been someone sneezing for all I know.

9. Maybe "the shizz" is what happens if you sneeze with a full bladder. If that's the case, then I'm not the shizz. I take it back.

10. I about didn't make it out of Kansas City alive. I was creeping along, watching people wreck right in front of me, trying my best to escape the blizzard with all limbs intact, when right behind me a snow plow blared his horn. If there's anything that will make you lose the shizz, that would be it.

Peace out,

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7 comments:

Nicole said...

hey, have you heard of the Carb Lover's Diet? I mean you are doing awesome losing weight, I just wondered if you'd ever heard of it...

Alan T Hainkel said...

Funny as always, kiddo... :)

Jennifer MacNeill-Traylor said...

Girl, you are funny:) I don't know what made me laugh more, the shizz of the cheesecake:)

Grey Horse Matters said...

I've never heard of fried cheesecake but I'd be willing to give it a try since any kind of cheesecake is good cheesecake. Too bad they don't have it anymore, you deserved it after all the dieting and the gym.

Glad you made it out alive and kept your wonderful sense of humor. Funny post.

Annette said...

You crack me up!

smazourek said...

You are hysterical, I particularly appreciate your application of logic to the BBQ/blizzard situation but I feel the need to mention that even though you may outrun a T-Rex the velociraptors would still figure out a way to get you.

Jessie McCandless said...

Nicole, I've heard of it but haven't looked into it much. I probably should, but I'm afraid once I start eating carbs, I can't quite stop :)

Thanks Alan, Jennifer, Arlene, Annette, and Shannon!!