Llama Llama Cheesecake Llama; Llama Llama Duck

Can anyone tell me, what is the purpose of this?


I mean, do you ride them? Eat them?


Opps, Sorry!

Do they provide companionship?


Or maybe just humor?

I don't mean to offend anyone, but I loathe llamas. I mean, this is one animal I absolutely could not stand to have on my farm. I don't get them. I see the neighbors herding them around their pasture--a really nice horse pasture--that is being completely wasted on llamas (llamas they can't even get within 10 feet of apparently).


Maybe it's my experience with llamas that leaves a bad, llama-y taste in my mouth.

When I lived out in central Kansas, we had a llama show up in our yard one day. Apparently llamas are dropped off like stray dogs out in the country. I was not aware of this. If I had been, I would have llama-proofed the place, placed llama traps and put up no llama-passing signs.

I called the sheriff, but they told me if no one came by to pick it up it was mine. Hello! I don't WANT it. Evidently it was an unwanted llama. Could they come by and shoot it? They just laughed at me.

Well, something the previous night had spooked all my weanlings through their fence, and that morning I found the culprit. Someone had told my babies that llamas eat horses and that they always go after the young ones first.

The llama wasn't interested in eating any of the horses but did take great joy in scaring the begeezuz out of them. It would hide behind a tree, poke its llama head out and say "boo." OK, I'm kidding about the "boo," but dead serious about the rest...

...including my stint as a llama wrangler. Yes, I tried to capture the darned thing. It was elusive, though. And stupid. Good Godfrey Daniels, it was stupid.


After 3 hours of attempted llama wrangling (including moving my entire roundpen out into a field for a make-shift catch pen), I got in my truck and attempted to drive it back to whereever whenst it came. I figured ultimately if I couldn't capture it, I would herd it off with my truck (either that, or "accidentally" run over it).


Did you know llamas are fast? They can also turn on a dime. Maybe there needs to be llama reining? Either that or this Llama was an illegitimate son of Hollywood Dun It. I didn't know they were so talented on their feet until I started chasing it through a corn field with a 3/4 ton truck.

Yeah, that's right. Llama-cutting in the old Chevy 2500.

Another interesting fact about llamas is they have unbelievable stamina.

I think I went through half a tank before we got it to the end of the field. For some reason, it loved my place. It loved making yummy noises to my babies. It loved playing peek-a-boo with my broodies. It loved aggravating the hell out of me. Wait, brother....is that you????

It finally ran off into the sunset, never to be seen again.