Tuesday, August 4, 2009

How Not to Take Pictures

Worked late again tonight. I'm really not complaining. I mean, I'm trying not to complain. There are so many people out there without any jobs at all, and this is still the best one I've ever had, so I'm not complaining.

I'm really not.

I told you before I was a lousey liar.

Of course my Gordon was on tonight. Wow, that sounds quite personal. Well, a girl can dream, can't she?

Anywho, I decided after watching Mr Ramsey (is that better?) handle some sausage (he really did--they all made sausages....what?!), I'd run out and take some quick pictures of those horses I haven't shown on the blog for a while.

So here is today's lesson: How Not to Take Pictures

First example...

Tip: never take a picture of a horse after feeding yummy grain. They will not pose. You can't make them pose. For them, it's all about the grain. It wouldn't hurt to trim up his feet a bit, too. Geez! Poor neglected beast.

Oh, and he's really not pregnant. I mean, I've thought about having him checked (JJ would have to be the daddy--or Bambi...), really, but nope. Just a big hay belly from noshing on as much feed as he can get his hooves on (now that he's 100% recovered from our farm plague--ugh)!

Example two....

Not only should one take pictures before feeding yummy grain, but one must also try to take pictures in focus, and it's helpful if it's not dark out.

Isn't she still cute as a button, though? Gotta love that I'm-growing-so-my-butt-is-higher-than-the-rest-of-me-stage.

Example three....

After reviewing examples one and two, please also remember not to stand at the shoulder of your horse to take a profile shot. It makes their head look twice as big as their ass, and while this may be a benefit for supermodels, it is a no-no for a horse.

Isn't that face so sweet, though. He makes my heart melt....

Same problem with this pic, but I wanted to post it anyway as he's gained a bit of weight back now, finally. He still has snot and that awful lump under his jaw, but he's eating well and starting to get a little meat on his bones. Of course compared to many he wasn't thin at all, but for him to look right, as a growing horse, he still needs lots of groceries and I'm so happy to see him start heading in the right direction (and feeling better, too)!!

For act two of tonight's play, we present, the Comedic Canines of Cass County! (we're actually about a mile into Bates County, but that would have screwed up my alliteration).

OK, guys, who farted?

Juvenile, I know, but admit it....you laughed.

The Sophster...

Samson chasing a floating ball of light (I keep several plasmic toys around in case they lose all their solid ones).

Speaking of Samson, he got out of his pen last night so I'm leaving him out all night tonight to see how it goes. If there is no blog entry tomorrow, you'll know he barked all night and I got no sleep, fell asleep behind the wheel and ended up in the hospital.

All over a dog....

Just kidding...but he really does sit under the porch and bark for no apparent reason sometimes. Maybe the plasmic ball's owner is talking to him.

Charlie is looking refreshed despite being up all night because of the storms. This dog is scared out of his mind of thunder, yet will charge at a chainsaw. And this was all before he was over a decade old and senile!

Act three of tonight's show: Blurred Dog Wrestling

I think I could have an art show.


knoyes said...

Ummmmm, respect your elder's young lady, Gordon (and all his sausages) is ALL MINE!!!!! Wasn't that a hoot? I thought the sausages was an interesting thing to do.

Jessie said...

Oh, OK, fine...but ONLY because I feel a bit guilty about having talked you into a dozen or so broodies LOL!! There ya go, we're even now (ROFL!!)

What was pretty funny was that all the guys raised their hands--oh yeah, they've all made sausage before but the girls were the ones who kicked butt!